I’ve always believed that some truths in our lives are really quite simple: (Nerd alert: I think “Occam's Razor” is very cool! Check it out! So think of these three tips as streamlined ways of having the courage to lead your team in what may be a new way for them. Here you go!
Guideline 1: Be the change you want to see in your team: “Model the way” is the very first practice of Kouze & Posner’s Five Practices of Exemplary Leaders.
In team meetings, skillful leaders operate on two planes: They’re in the moment as an active participant with their group, but they’re also an observer, noting how the members are functioning together. Who looks puzzled? Who’s a little quiet? Who’s interrupting or not listening well? As you observe, if you feel your group needs to practice better active listening skills, show those yourself, using these 3-P strategies: pause, paraphrase, probe. It’s a fine to say to your group, “My observation is that actively listening to each other is an area of growth for us”
If your group needs more compassion for students, be brave and share behavior that actually looks like that, and let them know why it’s a core value for you. Know who you are, who you want to be, and offer yourself as an example in every interaction. Your authenticity and courage are contagious, and every single day you have opportunities to show them.
Guideline 2: Know the power of empathy: In Ireland in August, a really friendly young man served my husband Brian and I in a restaurant…The next morning when we saw him again, he looked at us, smiled and said in this wonderful accent. “Well, halloo there!…And how’re ya keepin”? That phrase knocked me out! ‘How are ya keepin’ meant to me, ‘How are you really doing today?’ His phrase and delivery let us know that he really was interested, and it meant a great deal. That simple phrase made Brian and I feel welcomed and comfortable…Do you have a warm phrase like that that you use often? Could you intentionally start using one now?
Whether you’ve learned it as The Golden Rule or by any other name, the simple guideline for shaping a strong team is to treat your people in the way you’d like to be treated yourself. Michael Fullan tells us that the first secret of leading change is “love your people.” Close your laptop, look up from your phone and listen. Express concern when people are in need, and follow up to check in on them. Be a voice of support for your early career people who need that, and let them know you’ll listen to their questions without judgment. Team members who experience that psychological safety are ready to give their best.
Guideline 3: Have your commitments in place, and don’t forget to regularly check in to see whether the group feels they’re really living them:
The opening weeks of the year are just the right time to spend time with your team answering the question: “How will we be with each other this year? Who do we aspire to be as a team?” Groups that name those commitments, make them public and revisit their values are the teams that are vibrant and moving forward. In The Advantage, Patrick Lencioni stresses that organizations that teach, reteach, revisit and continue to claim their values are the organizations that are far and away the most successful.
But here’s the speed bump for some groups: They name their commitments at the beginning of the year and never come back to them again. Don’t do it!
Garmston and Wellman’s Adaptive Schools’ literature tells us, “Groups that take no time to reflect take no time to improve.” Keep your group values public, and “Take 5” at the end of your team meeting to say, “Which of these commitments do you feel good about? What’s something we need to pay more attention to next time, or what’s a growth edge for us?” You’re letting your people know highly productive team behavior is the goal.
Another strategy: At the beginning of his cabinet meetings, the Dean of Cardinal Stritch University shared with his team the one team commitment he was going to personally focus on that day. He asked them to choose a commitment for their own focus, write it on a post-it and keep it in front of them. Finally, they closed their meetings by partner-sharing their progress. Raising awareness of group behavior is time well spent if you want your group to realize that becoming a strong team is an expectation that will be supported, and one that they’ll be held accountable for.
So this week, let’s lead with courage by attending to what’s really important! Let’s focus on the adaptive behaviors of our team members instead of paying all our attention to our tasks and technical issues! Let’s raise up the importance of modeling the way, showing empathy, and being clear about the commitments we’ll keep together. And the next time someone asks you, ‘How’re ya keepin’?” you’ll answer with a smile, “My team and I are doing really well, thank you!”
Here’s a quick, engaging 2-minute video called “Teamwork in Reverse”...You might show it to help your group generate their thinking about who they want to be!
May your courage shine,
